Authors: Rebekah Victoria Still
Mentors: Alexandra Giannell
Insitution: Utah Valley University
We all experience panic. For many people it is a rare experience, while for those diagnosed with panic disorders, it can be a regular and debilitating occurrence. Oftentimes, it’s embarrassing and difficult for those living with such a disorder to explain to friends, family, coworkers, supervisors, and peers what they’re feeling and why it affects their lives so thoroughly. In this project, I approached various strangers to ask them about their experiences with panic in an effort to develop a unique and universal language, which would enable viewers to better understand panic and open an empathetic dialogue between those with such a disorder and their loved ones.
Based on the answers I received, I was able to sort the data and create multiple visual recipes which I used to develop a series of preliminary works. With each rendition, I asked for feedback from those with and without panic disorders, so as to assess the effectiveness of my color palette, symbology, and mark making techniques. Through this process of creation and criticism, I arrived at a composition which successfully encapsulates the feelings, sounds, and appearance of panic.
As someone who lives with PTSD, I believe that it’s important to foster empathy for those around us and earn how to effectively communicate our feelings. My objective is that through this work, people who previously didn’t have the words to discuss their mental health will be able to use this piece to start an open and honest conversation with their loved ones. Furthermore, by using a universal, visual language, those who don’t have panic disorders will be able to begin the process of opening their minds and hearts to understand the people who do. In this sense, my final painting is not an answer, but a question meant to inspire further research and exploration.